Expecting yourself from others.

Just don't.

The end.

Just kidding. Not about the "just don't" part, though. But if you just DON'T, you'll rarely be disappointed, and you certainly don't have to read on.

For those of us who are constantly disappointed in others because of what they did or didn't do, and then feel some type of negative emotion toward that person, my good sir, you are the one with the problem. I AM THE ONE WITH THE PROBLEM.

Most of my life, I've been shown from many of the people around me that if someone does something you don't like, you lose your shit. But you don't let them know you're losing your shit, because you didn't let them know what you expected from them in the first place. So it would be rude and maybe a little narcissistic to expect them to know what YOU wanted them to do based on how you feel or think. So you get mad and bitch to everyone BUT THEM, just to perpetuate the shitty cycle you refuse to break. Listen, bitch. THEY ARE NOT YOU. They don't have your heart. They don't have your brain. And they likely don't even have an idea of what you expect from them, because they don't have clear communication from you, either.

It's one thing to ask someone for help or to do something (kids, partner, employees etc.) because there is a verbal expectation put into place. If they don't do the thing you asked, typically a guy would ask again, a little more sternly this time, and get results. Or, lose their shit, and get results. The point is that if you COMMUNICATE the expectation, you're more likely to see the desired result.

If you expect someone to do something WITHOUT communicating it with them, you are the turd in this situation. How do I know that? Well, how do YOU feel when someone else isn't cutting the mustard? Mad? Resentful? Frustrated?...just so we're clear, those are all BIG TURD vibes. And you brought them on yourself. You surely cannot expect something from someone you first didn't explain to them, and you surely cannot expect someone else to feel with your heart and think with your brain.

I often stumble on the heart part. I think that just because I am deeply compassionate and empathic, and that I care so deeply for other humans, that everyone else does too. It makes me physically ill to see someone be treated with anything but love. It grosses me out, pisses me off, and is so deeply disappointing to my faith in the common human. So I tend to stay away from this type of energy. I don't have time to watch shitty television (the news, Hollywood, or anything else that's fake), look at people's shitty opinions about OTHER PEOPLE on social media, or flood my eyes and ears with a bunch of bullshit that doesn't make me feel good. Because if you haven't noticed, life is like 42 seconds long, and that's all you get. Wasting it on low-vibrational trash is a choice. I don't want to be on my deathbed and be like "GODDAMMIT ANDY, I WISH I WOULDN'T HAVE SPENT SO MUCH TIME ON THE INTERNET MAD ABOUT WHAT THE REST OF THE WORLD IS DOING WHILE I'M SITTING HERE DOING NOTHING ABOUT THE SHIT GOING ON IN MY OWN HEART."

JK again, I would never call him "Andy".

And I haven't been spending my life this way, especially in the past couple years, as it's become a pretty solid boundary in my self-love journey to protect my own energy from low vibes. So I just don't indulge. The television is rarely on. Half the time, I don't even know where the fuck my phone is. And it's beautiful.

It's relatively easy to stay away from turds on a screen. Just shut it off. Walk away. But what if someone that you love is being a total turd? A partner, a kid, a friend, an employee? What if someone you love is pissing their life away on addictions, obsession with material things, negative emotions, lack of self-love or just being a selfish turd? How do we accept this without absorbing it and letting it make us feel a shitty emotion? How do we not expect ourselves from them? I don't know the answer, I'm asking you.

We can see their potential from time to time, a glimmer of hope that they have finally seen the light, and they do or say something loving, caring or even selfless for you or another person. And you're left a little mind-blown and heart-blown and you think to yourself, "holy shit, they're really doing it!" just to be let down by their next turd move. I've witnessed this with loved ones my whole life, and I've been the loved one my whole life. We're all turds because we're all human, and the level to which we are able to grow is directly correlated with our ability to see the turd within ourselves, not each other.

Any time I'm pointing out what a turd is doing that's pissing me off, I am a turd. I see that. I acknowledge that. I own that. So I knock that shit off. Because what if whoever I was judging was actually me? Every time I judge a turd for something, the something is ALWAYS something I haven't addressed within myself. Shadow work. Some shit I haven't owned up to yet. And once I do, and forgive myself and offer the other party a little fucking compassion, and I level up. Most of us may have to spend our whole life leveling up, but don't let that discourage you from actually doing it, because it's the work that will get you to the mountain tops you've been desperately climbing. You'll reach your goals and feel your connection with God and it brings you to the part of life where you can say "holy smokes, Sugardick, I did it. I loved with all my heart."

Imagine the last scenario where you felt anger, resentment, frustration or anything but love for someone that you actually love. Did you have an expectation of them? And was it communicated? If so, carry on, communicate with them and handle it. Turn it into love and understanding.

If not, you were merely expecting them to do what you would do, and you're mad that they didn't. Do you wish you had their body instead of yours? Your heart and your brain transplanted into their body, so you could go on and live their life as YOU please? If you said yes, you don't need my help, you need Jesus. Let's be real here, you're mad because they ain't you. But why would they wanna be if you're just a turd who is always mad? You don't wanna be them, and I'm guessing they sure the fuck don't wanna be you. So it is my friendly suggestion to stay in your lane. Stay in YOUR heart. Stay in YOUR brain. And expect nothing from anyone but yourself. Expect yourself to do better. Expect yourself to COMMUNICATE better. Expect yourself to be more understanding, more compassionate, more loving, more helpful, more kind. Expect YOU out of YOU. And you'll gain more ground than you ever could trying to live someone else's life for them. Once you change YOUR energy around a situation or low-vibe experience, the energy around that situation changes. It's within your capacity to transform it using the only thing you were born with, Love.

Expecting ourselves from others, especially loved ones, is natural in a human. May you allow yourself the grace, compassion and understanding you need for yourself to process, learn from, and grow from each scenario and experience that comes about, with Love.