Updated: Sep 11, 2020
Who are you?
Who do you want to be?
What are you waiting for?
You've been gifted this incredible life. You've been blessed with talents, creativity and magic that no one else has. You are the only one in the entire Universe that gets to be you! So why don't you?
I know for certain, the best way to get started is to analyze your relationships. Say, WHAT?
If you're feeling stuck, like there's more to life, like you've hit a glass ceiling, take a long hard look at the people closest to you. I've heard a bazillion times that you are the five people that you hang out with the most. So, what kind of peeps are all up in your circle?
Do they bitch about their job or their boss?
Do they complain a lot?
Do they constantly have some type of sickness or ailment?
Do they ever make you feel bad or guilty for some stupid shit?
Do they talk shit and judge other people?
Do they constantly see the worst case scenario for everything?
Do they suck the energy from your very soul?
My friend, that's not a circle. That is a cage.
Kicking toxic people out of your life sounds daunting and scary and super uncomfortable. I mean, we're talking about severing relationships here, right? Sort of. But you don't have to go in swinging a machete. Actually, you don't have to do anything, except be your fucking self. Be yourself. That's it. That's all you have to do to let the toxic relationships weed themselves out. And trust me, they will.
How the hell do you be yourself? That's not a stupid question, because most people are walking around, uncomfortable AF because they don't know how.
An excellent starting point would be to take a deep ass breath, and think of all the things that make you feel alive, all the experiences and (healthy) relationships that you love, and all the things you are grateful for.
Next, say no to the shit you don't want to do.
Say yes to the shit you do want to do.
Set boundaries. SET SOME BOUNDARIES LIKE A MOFO. If someone is used to making you their whipping post, or using you or making you feel like shit in any way, OR IF THEY ARE JUDGING YOU FOR YOUR CHOICES, let them know that type of bullshit will no longer be tolerated. And then don't tolerate it. Yeah, that simple. Once you set boundaries and make them clear, the person on the other end will either abide and respect those boundaries, or weed themselves out. Either way, you win.
Now, think about the people in your life that inspire you. The people that are happy to see you! The ones that get excited when you win! The people that make you want to be a better human!
Those are your people. That is your circle. That is, if you're into growth. And when you're in the presence of your circle, you can't help but be you. You can't help but win. Because your circle won't judge you. They won't make you feel like a piece of shit. They want to see you shine like the beautiful little Herkimer you are, because they know that the Universe needs your magic.
Growth can be uncomfortable AF. But if you stay true to your core values and who you are as a human, then surround yourself with the ones that "get it", growth can be so easy. So easy, in fact, that eventually, it becomes a habit. When you're being you, you become unstoppable. Unfuckwithable. You become free. And let me tell you, there's nothing more delicious than the freedom to be yourself.
Oh and BONUS! If you take these steps before you die, your circle will honor you with a celebration of life instead of a funeral. ;)